Definitive assessments of Sandman Celtic against Pontius Pilate's XI

Definitive assessments of Sandman Celtic in opposition to Pontius Pilate’s XI


I solely play Alfie as a result of he jogs my memory of Michael Caine; That’s, if Michael Caine performed ManBearPig as nicely
by Seaf Pawk and acquired into character by consuming nuffink however Sugar Puffs, two liters of Ben An Jerrys and Bacon Frazzles fifteen occasions a day fackin Moley Parkloife, Head Zombie.

It is not an elephant! It is not an animal! He is a human being! He’s a person! Nicely perhaps Then once more John Merrick on Alfie Morelos.

James Tavernier reacts after a missed probability throughout the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and theRangers on April 8, 2023. (Picture by Ian MacNicol/Getty Photos)

REDS 6.5/10 The present requested the showgirl no probability with double Tavpenis, however cautious to maintain Fatboy out at a significant second. And his kick was good, in contrast to many off the sphere

GREGGS THE SUPPLIER 7/10 It is a stable steak by means of and thru; the prototype for his steaks and we would have liked that presence amid the drudgery and tumult of a fragmentary preliminary half hour. One more badge of honor within the video games that
outline the season.

STAR LORD 6.5/10 The ever-present Star-Lordery appeared to be influencing the opposite members of the squad and for as soon as wasn’t the outstanding shakey alongside the backline. Racoon misplaced his voice earlier in the present day. deep; Nonetheless, he did not choose up as many free balls or crosses into the field as common.

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND APRIL 08: Alfredo Morelos of Rangers FC discusses his disallowed aim throughout Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Rangers FC at Celtic Park on April 08, 2023 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Picture by Ian MacNicol/Getty Photos)

GET CARTER 6/10 Surprisingly informal for one so usually tuned into the circulation of the sport. That was a worrying first signal. However he’ll persist with them at one level and after we have been 3-1 at good, regular serve appeared to have resumed Then all the things acquired a bit sticky once more and the lead of him dropped to get them in. , even when with out the decisive presence of him.

WAYNE GRETKY 7/10 Basic smack sprint whereas dashing by means of the park destroying any zombie in the best way. Surviving an early sexual assault by the ManBearPig to bounce again with panache and exemplify Angeball together with his relentless motion, assist play and willingness to get the ball and construct. MOTM of lots of people, however I am going to simply say this one misplaced fully when Tavpenis acquired that second header; AJ beneath it and oblivious to him lurking as she won’t scent him anyway; Is the aroma of Miss Havisham’s Mothball Wedding ceremony Gown undoubtedly essential?

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND APRIL 08: Callum McGregor of Celtic celebrates with staff mates after their victory throughout the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Rangers FC at Celtic Park on April 08, 2023 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Picture by Ian MacNicol/Getty Photos)

CALMAC 7/10 Upset with the antipode cohort, Calmac had a two-man job overseeing the central tower. The truth that he was in a position to do all the things he did with out fully gaining the higher hand was testomony to his resilience and need to win. He even needed to cope with a ridiculous card for getting entangled with the quirky little Zombie hobbit who tried to steal Calmac’s shin guards.

THE BUILDER 6.5/10 Now he was extra like Matty bhoy. Contemporary together with his passes, attentive and prepared to make incisive runs; he created the primary superbly. Then he gave it his all by conceding the equaliser’s free kick. However because of Ghod for his return to kind; and that legendary Viking magnificence who enhances his capability to sicken the grotesque zombie midfield trio of hobbit, ogre and fairy princess.

MOOEY 3/10 What the hell occurred right here? Hey, Mooey, get up! I can solely assume the large was in Oz’s time as he singularly did not make any impressions on the sport or full a cross; he turned to Aussie Guidelines in desperation, to compound his duff exit with a yellow. Nightmare, Could. The principle part (or lack of) in our efficiency faltered as Angeball stuttered and stammered and gave Calmac a double flip to the coal face as a substitute of a cognac and a conductor’s baton.

SIR KATSUMOTO 6/10 Daizen terrorized with out capitalizing; vitality to burn, however moments to ignite a giant win handed as he blasted the sphere like a firecracker in a shed, by no means discovering the contact to make them pay.

Kyogo Furuhashi reacts after the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Rangers FC at Celtic Park on April 8, 2023 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Picture by Ian MacNicol/Getty Photos)

DEADLY NIGHTSHADE 8/10 The zombies can not see Kyogo with the bare eye, showing to them as a diaphanous cloud of ethereal smoke, disarming their malice with a double empathic concern for his or her well-being, then drifting between them, a wisp of wind, earlier than BAM! Casper, the pleasant ghost of their visions, materializes like a poisoned thorn within the black coronary heart of their protection and kills their twisted desires of empire and
supremacy with scientific severity. That opening: scrumptious. Now revered and honorable extraordinary

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND – APRIL 08: Jota of Celtic celebrates with staff mate Callum McGregor after scoring the staff’s third aim throughout the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Rangers FC at Celtic Park on April 08, 2023 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Picture by Ian MacNicol/Getty Photos)

NOTEBOOK 8.5/10 MOTM I have been speculating for months now, and boy did the bhoy. Our one fixed in a 90+ of inconsistency. He sizzled and shook them together with his fast dancing toes, forcing the Mandarin rapist into crafty parries after which gloriously embarrassing him with a step-turn to seize maintain of Soapy Souttar’s dandy pass-pack (see what I did there, DC Thomson? ) and kill the beasts. was what we paid about 7 million {dollars} for loud zombie skelping when it issues most. It is no coincidence that our risk dropped when Ange hooked it (too early) and the creating hiding become a race for factors.

Fantastically serenaded pre-match and adopted by a sequence of his personal successes: 4 pictures, 2 on aim and a profitable aim. Primary billboard with a bullet.


HACKY SACK N/A Twisted, turned, fell nicely, loaded.

OH BHOY N/A There may be not sufficient time to hitch the skelping or rumble them correctly.

TONIO IWATAO 6/10 His presence grew to become a welcome aid not lengthy sufficient to make a lot of an influence, however he fitted in nicely given the character of the sport and introduced some composure to our contested midfield.

EDDIE TURNBULLN/A Nurse! Early afternoon stroll to the great outdated bhoy and was happy if puzzled to see all these good individuals wheeling him again to the wheelchair on the finish.

DIEGO ARMANDO MARADONA N/A HIT IT! CITY!No, he sought an invisible Oh and blew the event to rub their faces proper in it and disadvantaged us of the fantastic sight of an entire Paradise by giving it, Ar-gen-tina! Argentina! Sake wee mhan

ANITA DOBSON 7/10 Ange gave us the staff we anticipated, and the staff did not give him the efficiency he anticipated. We’re grateful he did not drop the rag and scold them or perhaps he did and wasn’t conscious of it, however wayward passes and botched play will need to have induced him to get distracted. So Angeball, reeling within the face of enemy of enemies requires a plan B, would not it?

As many have identified. However sure: no. In a way, Angeball Plan B is a reset of primary work-pace over extravagance. he rolled up his sleeves, took the instruments and kicked a few of them. They usually lastly acquired there by adhering to probably the most primary requirement of managers: engagement

Nicely carried out Ange, a unclean win in opposition to the soiled zombies.

MIBERIA 5/10 An actual Zombie purpose disallowed which meant the following 5 minutes have been a blur for many of us as we regained consciousness. It appeared solely a matter of time earlier than we noticed a pink however the Bhoys stored their self-discipline nicely sufficient to cross the road with a full praise. Poor outdated Nancy Drew and SteVen on VAR butthurt SMSM will construct the gallows however they don’t seem to be the identical scribblers who loved telling us earlier within the season that a number of injustices would equalize?

Hahahahahahaaa Right here it comes kaaaaaarrrmmaaaa

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND – APRIL 08: Kyogo Furuhashi of Celtic celebrates after scoring the staff’s first aim throughout the Cinch Scottish Premiership match between Celtic FC and Rangers FC at Celtic Park on April 08, 2023 in Glasgow, Scotland. (Picture by Ian MacNicol/Getty Photos)

OVERALL 7/10 1,000,000 yellow playing cards, a disjointed efficiency from Celtic, however three targets, a win and Zombie perma-ragin completed in full swing. product. They usually nonetheless could not discover a approach to beat us, whilst they dragged the sport till it was determined by pivotal moments of inspiration and errors.

Their huge jeopardy gamers, comic Alfie and the large is Alfie, truthful sufficient and goth Ryan Kent who’s working out of his contract earlier than signing on as a Victoria’s Secret runway mannequin in the summertime trimming with a black headband for Lilly Savage hasn’t dealt the injury our star Hoops did. Solely Tavpenis lived as much as his billing and surprisingly did not get a last-gasp penalty for his hat-trick; no surprise he and Moley’s utter consternation after the sport because the LSD of their halftime oranges (clearly, not the tangerines, they usually hate that they take vitamin C) kicked in they usually rant shamefully on the ghosts of Jotas baws.

An anatomy class may be one of the simplest ways for his or her motivational speaker to current their subsequent inspirational speech; that and the opening line, Okay, good since we now know you are formally a phisher

So the Bhoys nearly sealed it. Not within the hopefully desired manner, however in a manner that would save the perfect till Hampden within the solar of 30. We nearly had a crucifixion, nearly a resurrection too evil couldn’t prevail in Holy Week and what we’ve got is at the least every week of popcorn -worthy seething from a horde of zombies from Ragin Zombies.

12 factors, 29 targets, 7 to play. Ooohhh, *Shhhiverrrr*
CL we arrive.

Magical days. LOL @ the zombies. Benefit from the fallout.

Go away now


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